Patience and Mothering – What I’m working on

Today I just wanted to put down on ‘paper’ my heart on this
whole parenting gig- patience and mothering thing.

Last night, as Ben and I were in bed, we were catching up about life lately.
Asher hadn’t made his first appearance in our room just yet. (working on getting him to stay in his bunk bed.)
We were talking parenting. work. laughing.
maybe a little complaining. possibly. haha.
But we got stuck on talking parenthood…and patience…
and I felt like I wanted to share some of my thoughts.

First of all.. I’m not an expert parent.
If you are looking for some proven perfect tips…not gonna happen here.
BUT…I am a mom of five and love my kids with all my heart..
I’m learning and growing and I love being authentic and
vulnerable here because we need more of that!
So if you are into that sorta thing… I think you’ll like today’s post.

I used to think I was a really patient person.
And then I had my first child and realized that I could actually be A LOT more patient.
And I feel like I grew. You kind of just have to when you first become a mom. haha.
Going from none to one is a WOW. ok. this is mom life…
goodbye sleep and doing whatever I want to do. haha.
I think Parenthood makes you even better version of you though…
you have to give more of yourself and when you do that regularly… and it becomes habit..
you aren’t  the same person. You can look back and see growth!
Maybe you have days where you don’t feel it… but trust me. It’s there!
I can say this because now that we are five kids in (haha) I am WAY more patient then I was with one.
I’m more go with the flow. I’m more ok baby is crying in the car but I won’t dramatically make
Ben pull over from our five minute drive so I can check her….lol. (that happened.)
I have grown a lot as a mom and I just want to encourage you…
no matter what stage of motherhood you are in…
you are growing and learning and doing big things.
So give yourself some credit!

People always make comments like wow how do you handle five kids??
But honestly, I feel like since they arrived one by one we were eased into the crazy.
It’s loud. It’s high energy. But the amazing moments far outweigh the hard ones.
OH MY GOSH.
I mean I want to cry thinking about how much I love my kids.
What a blessing they are to me.
But in that same breath.. I can tell you…
I have cried over exhaustion and frustration and isolation and all the “tion” things!! lol
Motherhood is hard. parenthood is hard.
No matter how many kids you have!

A current situation that sparked this convo last night…
was that Ben and I are realizing that our kids are really reacting big lately.
and Ben said we need to look at ourselves…
how are we reacting to things when they are in trouble or interrupting or being impatient…
Because most likely they are picking up those habits from us.
I told him I get it. totally. Even though I feel like a patient person there’s a certain level of “it only lasts so long”….
When the first child comes up asking for something I’m pretty patient..
and then the second one comes up upset at someone I’m pretty patient..
but then by the 3rd and 4th and 5th child that needs my attention in the span of about 2 MINUTES… it’s a lot.
and my patience doesn’t look the same by the end.
and that’s when I feel like my reaction is bigger than it should be.
And that’s where I want to go to work on this.

I told Ben that I “understand” that my behavior is what they will model…
but actively living that patience for them to copy is
tough when you feel like you’ve reached your limit.

Maybe you feel this way too.
Maybe you feel like you are a pretty patient person…
you’ve grown a lot in your years of motherhood..
But you are hitting this point where you aren’t able to keep that
patient mom thing going all day long. haha.
Like by lunch you’re done.
Have you ever texted your husband that before??
“ok I’M DONE. I’VE REACHED MY LIMIT.
haha.. umm.. I TOTALLY HAVE NEVER DONE THAT.

Moving on….

I just wanted to share something that I am going to be working on.
That I have to work on being that example for my kids…
no matter how many times they come to me.

that’s hard work. But it’s important.
They have to see patience from us!!
And not just the first time and if they ask nicely…
because you know that in the real world… in family life… there are going to be plenty of times (if not most times)
they’ll have to practice patience with someone when they are NOT feeling that person.
haha. when they are feeling tired. or busy. or hangry.
And so we need to show them how to do that.
Even when you feel done.

We also need to show them what asking forgiveness looks like.
I have to do this sometimes. I once reacted strongly to one of my kids when I actually
was just feeling frustrated about a completely other situation.
And I had to apologize. And it was good in the end.
Because she knows – ok.. sometimes we mess up.. and we need to say hey, sorry. I love you. talk to me.

This is a little vulnerable – cheer each other on-type of post.
You got this.
And I hope you join me in being super intentional in how you react to your children…
not just the first time…but the millionth time.
I don’t need to say it because everyone and their mother tell you this……
But the years go by so fast! Let’s soak up these years when they are home with us…
at our feet… on our backs… messing up our hair.
Let’s do this mamas.
You can connect with my daily over on Instagram! —> @athomewithnatalie